Birth families

Support services

PAC-UK

PAC-UK provides specialist support services for birth parents and relatives independently from Adopt North East. We can refer you to this service if you wish us to do so.

PAC-UK offer:

• a free advice line their First Family service

• face-to-face and telephone counselling

• local peer support groups

• private intermediary services* (to which there may be an additional cost)

Contact:

Email: Postbox@adoptne.org.uk

Phone: 0191 643 5000

*Intermediary Service Advice Line: Tel 020 7284 5876

Lines open Monday 3.00pm-5.00pm & Wednesday 6.00pm-8.00pm

Specialist advice and support for adult adoptees, their descendants and birth relatives who wish to reconnect with their relatives.

First Family Service

If your child no longer lives with you or there is a chance this may happen, PAC-UK offer free advice and support for birth mothers, fathers, and relatives.

The First Family Service can: 

• Listen to your story and how you are feeling about your child’s adoption. 

• Explain the often-confusing process of adoption and what that means for you and your child – now and in the future. 

• Help write a letterbox letter. Most people find the first one particularly difficult. 

• Help you to write a letter for your child for when they are older explaining what happened and how you feel about it. 

• Let you know how other parents like yourself feel. We run friendly support groups in some areas. 

• Look at the reasons your child was removed and what you can do to keep a future child if you want to. 

• Meet with you in a convenient place and discuss what is most helpful to you. What you say is confidential. 

Contact

Email: Postbox@adoptne.org.uk

Phone: 0191 643 5000

PAC-UK also provides counselling, tracing, and intermediary services to support everyone affected by adoption. If you have lost someone to adoption they can: 

• Trace the adopted adult and make the first contact on your behalf. 

• Support both parties through the initial stages of reunion. 

• Offer specialist guidance throughout. 

It may be that you also wish to outline your preference relating to contact with an adopted person via the Adoption Contact Register.  

Post Box

A guide for birth families and adoptive families

Keeping in Touch - Post Adoption Contact

It is important for adopted children to be aware of and understand their personal history. There are many ways to help adopted children make sense of their past from life story books (books with information and pictures of significant birth family members and significant events in their lives) to ongoing contact, either through letter writing or face to face contact, with birth families. 

Photographs and life stories bring an adopted child’s past to life and help them understand everyone who influenced their early development. This can make it easier for children to understand who they are, where they came from and try to merge their past with the present.   

Ongoing contact with birth families is also a positive way to ease the child’s sense of loss or rejection, however face-to face contact is rare. If contact between a child and their birth parents is agreed, it is most likely that post box contact will be the best option. 

Adopt North East’s post box service manages written contact between the two families. The service ensures that family members can’t be identified and that letters remain confidential. It also ensures that no inappropriate content is shared. 

It is vital that birth family members and adopters agree to post box rules by signing contact agreements. The team offers practical support such as letter writing skills and provides advice on the type of information that can and can’t be shared.  

Adopters are usually asked to send letters to the birth family, on an annual basis. The letters will typically include milestones a child has achieved during the year, their physical health and progress at school. Adopt North East also encourages birth families to reply to adopters to keep them informed of birth family news. 

There are many benefits of post box contact including: 

• The child knows that their birth family has not forgotten about them and that they still care about their welfare and the progress they are making.  

• The link with the birth family is maintained.  

• Adopters receive regular information from birth families including any major changes in their lives or circumstances which the child should know about. 

• Birth families receive regular information from adopters about any changes in the child’s circumstances.  

• Birth families are reassured that the child is safe and well. 

Adopt North East is passionate about the ongoing support it provides to adoptive families and birth parents. Its life story work and post box contact service are just two of the ways it supports everyone involved in the adoption process.